Incoherent Ramblings

This doesn’t really have a category.  I just wanted you all to know how much I freaking LOVE Breathe Right strips (the vapor kind).  I have a deviated septum, and those little buggers help me breathe so much better!!! I bought the one night in a fit of desperation when I was sick.  I was so happy about them working that I kept tellin Annie how awesome they were.  She finally said, “Okay, Aunt Kimmy, can we go to sleep now?”

Go buy some now.

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Originally posted September 2, 2007.

Lately, I have made some new discoveries and re-discoveries.  These are some of my new addictions:

–peanut butter chocolate chip chewy granola bars.  i used to hate granola, but these are really good.  i eat them for a snack at school.

–blue diamond wasabi soy almonds. YUM!!  a nice source of fiber with a kick!

–U2’s new cd. I know it’s just a compilation of old songs, but they’re all my faves.  plus proceeds from the cd go to help musicians affected by katrina.

–skirts.  i haven’t been wearing many skirts because i have been relegated to sneakers since i have the gimpy hoof.  but the hoof always hurts regardless of what shoes i wear, so i might as well skirts and cute shoes.

–koolaid.  i am hypoglycemic, so we always had a jug of koolaid in the fridge for me to drink. it was cheaper than juice.  i drank koolaid all the time in college.  rockadile red was my favorite, then they discontinued it.  i also like grape.  we made some this summer for the girls, and i drank some.  it’s still good!

–SmartBoard.  If you don’t know what this is, it’s basically an giantgantic (chalkboard sized) interactive computer monitor. i have one in my classroom and it is AWESOME!  there are lots of features and the kids love it.

–teen lit.  i have had a year away from the teen lit scene.  i always read these books so i can suggest them to students, but there are some really great novels for teens. way better than i had.

–meerkat manor.  it’s back!  a new season of meerkitty drama!  love it.

–MSNBC.  there are a lot of prison and crime documentaries on there! you know i love that.

–Qdoba.  it’s kinda like Moe’s, a little different.  moes is still my fave.

–Hardee’s Patty Melt.  it is my new hang over food. i certainly won’t eat them often, but it was good today for my sad little hungover ass.

–James Clavell’s Asian Series. I got hooked on Shogun.  I am buying Taipan this weekend.

–dark green eyeliner.  it brings out the green in my hazel eyes

–febreeze plug ins.  these are awesome.  they last forever. there are two scents and they release the differing scents alternatingly at different times.

–vitamin water power C flavor.  i love this stuff.

–goat cheese. which i already love, but jill had some the other night and now i crave it daily.

–pimento cheese from earth fare.  i like to eat it with the blue sesame corn chips they have.

–herbal essence shampoos and conditioners.  i like the one for dry hair.  the dandruff one is good too.  i have a really itchy scalp and a bad habit of digging at my head until it bleeds.  this stuff is good. i never scratch my noggin!

–kittens.  not that i haven’t always love them, but these five (down to three now in November) i have crack me.  they keep me entertained.  they are so little, but run around all “bowed up” so they can fight each other. they are ferocious.

–snail mail.  i have some cute cards and i have started sending them out to people.  it is nice to get mail from people.  cards and such.  my godmother nikki and jill are both really good at sending cards.  i always buy them and then forget to send them.

–60s fabric prints. i love the ones with mushrooms or owls or snails.  they are cute. i just ordered a totebag that has turquois and green mushrooms on it.

–jeopardy.  i go through jeopardy phases.  sometimes i watch it religiously, other times, i am just not interested because i have too much other crap to do.

–garage sales.  THE HOBB and i used to go to garage sales every saturday morning, hungover, tired, whatever. we had those babies mapped out.  then as gramma’s health has declined, i have quit going.  jill and i went to a couple this summer, but i was too broke, so now i am going to start back up.  today i was too hungover.  pitiful.

–texting.

–fish tacos at casa linda. this is ashley’s fault!  she told me how good they were, so i tried them. she was right! damnit.

–blockbuster online.  i was at netflix. i like blockbuster just as well.  i am forgetful about inconsequential things like returning movies on time and going to the bank.  having the movies come straight to me is good. i will search that site forever picking movies.

–america’s next top model.  i don’t know why i got sucked into this crap. i know it’s not good, but it’s hilarious. the drama between the girls is great.  plus i do like seeing what the make up and hair people do.  that transformation is pretty cool.

–sage and citrus candles from yankee candle

–slippers

–cranberry mandarin candles from, of all places, wal-mart

–rosemary and olive oil triscuits with cheese

–amy jo’s taco soup

–fires in the fire place

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This was partially posted on August 4, 2007.

Some weird, random facts about Kim:

*I don’t like food that is particly- like oatmeal, coconut and grits

*I don’t brush my hair every day

*I found out there was no Santa when I was 5, but knew I better go along so I could get presents

*I have only been in love once

*I don’t like ice cream

*The album Zooropa, by U2, makes me horny

*I didn’t learn to drive until I was 21

*I am expert manipulator

*In high school, I didn’t want to be in Honors classes anymore so I failed English. THE HOBB was not amused.  I went back to A’s the next nine weeks, and had to stay in Honors

*My mother was an alcoholic and drug addict which is why THE HOBB raised me

*I hate having my picture taken, but I love taking other people’s picture

*I have a deep dark secret that only Amy Jo knows

*I was the only person at Hand Middle School to read LITTLE WOMEN(while I was there).  I read it 5 times while I was there

*I used to be an actress but got out of in when I was a teen

*I hate my nose

*We were poor when I was growing up.  At one point we didn’t even have a refrigerator.

*I used to pay to see one movie, then sneak into all the others at Richland Mall when I was in middle school and high school, and recently this past Thanksgiving (just for old-times’ sake)

*I loved high school

*I had a crush on the same boy for four years in high school

*I am allergic to 51 different things, none of them food

*Amputees sorta freak me out

*I have a bizarre tie to Florence SC. I lost my virginity to a boy from Flo-town, my college love was from Flo-town.  A LOT of my friends, most of whom I met in college are from Florence.  My best bud, Mettler is from Florence.

*When I was 8 I was obsessed with learning all the presidents in order of their years in office. 

*I was an excellent hoola hooper

*I won a belching contest

*I am the only person in my immediate family who went to college

*I used to pick at the corners of my eyes until they bled

*Now I scratch my head until it bleeds.

*I think about sex several times a day

*Certain pain medications make me want to have sex

*I like all vegetables except okra, greens (except spinach) and lima beans.

*I think Tom Brokaw is sexy

*I won’t eat at Burger King, no matter how hungry I am, and haven’t since 1987

*I think I should have been born during a different era.  maybe the jazz age.

*I am often disappointed in people because I set my expectations far too high

*I don’t like marshmellows but I like Rice Krispie Treats and those chocolate covered marshmellow treats that come out every holiday, like the marshmellow santa

*At one time in my apartment in college I had two rats, a bird, a dog, a cat, a turtle and a 2 fish tanks (one was 6 feet tall)

*I would do anything for my friends

*I am a bully

*I fall for guys who don’t fall back

*I started wearing glasses my junior year in high school, and only to read.

*I hate to say no

*I am judgmental

*I used to go to church 3-4 days a week when I was in high school and no one made me. 

*I believe in God

*I have a horrible credit score ( so don’t steal my identity unless you wanna help me fix it) and that is my ONLY regret in life

*I think I should live in a different country

*I like cake with no frosting

*I like camping

*I have a jealous nature

*I dated a guy with a foot fetish

*I hate being out of control, which is one reason I curtail my drinking.  I make dumb decisions.

*I sleep in my glasses, sometimes all night

*I love Kool-Aid

*I think that one day, I will be famous for something

*I read the last 4 Harry Potter books in 2 days each

*I pray

*I love jelly bellies

*I cross-stitch

*I think Julia  Roberts looks like a horse, a pretty horse, but a horse none-the-less

*I think Dane Cook is over-rated

*I would like to own my school

*I want to adopt black boys because that is the area of our society in America that is being left behind. I want to raise them to be amazing black men

* I cry every single time I watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”, even if I just come in at the end

*I always wanted a convertible

*I recycle

*I love to take hot baths

*I eat the candy in the Brach’s displays at grocery stores.  Like they are just samples.  One time at Publix, I tried to “do the right thing” and pay for the chocolate-covered peanuts, and the cashier didn’t charge me!  That’s all the proof I need

*I have broken my nose 3 times (yes, I am clumsy)

*I like the way Zippo lighters smell

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(Originally posted June 27, 2007)

I have noticed there are many great mysteries in this world.  You might not even NOTICE them because they are so allusive and mysterious (thus why they are a mystery).   Here are some you might have noticed too:

1.  Every time I put lotion on my hands, I IMMEDIATELY, have to pee. (If you don’t wash your hands after you pee, then you don’t know why this is a mystery)

2.  I can never sleep when I NEED to.  Like now.  Sleeping would be good since I have work tomorrow. 

3.  I can never sleep in when I have the opportunity. I always wake up at 7 or so. BUT, when I HAVE to get up at 7, I can barely drag my ass out of bed.

4.  Everyone has already eaten when you’re starving and want to go “grab a bite”.

5. When you have money to go shopping, you can never find anything you like, but when you’re broke and “just looking” you ALWAYS find shit you want.  ALWAYS.

6.  You can never remember someone’s name when you really need to. 

7.  George W. Bush is president.

8.  People actually care what Paris, Lindsey and Brittney are doing, more so than they care about our planet, the homeless, or education.

9. The grocery cart works great at the entrance, but by the time you reach produce the front wheel is going whackty whickty whonkwhonkwee and will only turn left. 

10.  Educated people are still ignorant.

11. Food knows when you’re wearing white, especially spaghetti sauce, really any tomato-based foods.

12.  The toilet paper roll is always empty when you’re home alone and no one can bring you a new roll. (this is why I keep ALL spare rolls in the bathroom.)

13.  Things always go on sale right after you buy them at some other store for more money, and most of us are too lazy to take the item back to go purchase it for a cheaper price.

14.  No matter how accomplished you are, there is always someone who makes you feel small.

15.  You still get a little jealous when you see that one ex with someone new.

16.  Every red light on your way to wherever you are going knows when you’re running late.

17.  Any person from SC, regardless of how incredibly intelligent or educated, comes across as an ignorant hillbilly on television, particularly after a national disaster. 

18.  Similar to the previous mystery: Journalist have a keen nose for sniffing out the least educated, most ignorant witness to any event in South Carolina.

There are many more that I think of daily, but right now, this is it.

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Today, I was watching the end of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.  I decided that if I were going to be a mythical being, it would be a centaur. I used to think I wanted to be a mermaid or a phoenix.  I mean, mermaids are sexy, sort of.  A phoenix can resurrect itself, and it’s tears have healing powers.  However, I really think a centaur is the best. It can kick ass!  I can have four feet and run fast, while I shoot people with my bow and arrow.  All sex would be doggie style.  All the male centaurs I have seen have been pretty hot.  So, it is decided. I will be a centaur in my next mythical life.

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