Incoherent Ramblings

(Originally posted April 23, 2006 on MySpace) 

(I was reading over some of my old blogs, deciding which ones to repost here from Myspace. This one made me laugh. )

So, Sally and I were talking tonight.  Okay, not real talking, IMing.  (Is that a verb?)  We were discussing how men bitch and moan about never getting laid enough, how THEY always want sex but their WOMAN nevvvver wants sex.  Well, all I can say is these men must be sexin’ up the wrong girls.  Every one of my female friends likes sex- and lots of it.  We like sex in the morning, sex at night, lunch-time quickies, sex on Tuesday, really any day ending in Y.  So, the big question really is who are these non-sex liking girls?  I mean, really.  What’s NOT to like?  I don’t know.  Unless you’re doing it with some moron who doesn’t know what to do, sex should be great.  Even IF you’re having sex with someone who seems clueless, sex can be good.  Clue them in!  There really are very few psychics in this world.  We were all virgins at one time. 

So, ladies, if your man is poking you the wrong way, twisting your nipple too hard, or not hard enough, not givin’ up some foreplay, eating at the Y for waaaaay too long (why do you guys do that? Duration does not equal quality.  FYI.), not smackin’ that ass while you’re doin’ it doggie style, then tell them what you want!  Fellas, if you’re sleeping with some dead mackerel of a girlfriend, fuck buddy, lover,  if she won’t squeeze the boys while she’s slobbin’ the knob,   if she won’t let you watch,  if missionary is the only position she’s heard of, if she has to have sex with the lights out,  then let her know what you want. If she’s not up for it, I am sure that you know some girls who are more than willing to get freaky.  And really, its not freaky until you bring in the midgets and Jell-O.